Last month, I wrote about treating your year-end performance review as a values audit; examining not just what you accomplished, but whether those accomplishments aligned with who you actually are. Research shows that values alignment leads to greater contentment and resilience, while misalignment creates chronic tension and disengagement. I challenged both individuals and leaders to have honest conversations about this alignment, even when the answers are uncomfortable. As I continue to reflect on the importance of values, I am reminded of a quote from one of my heroes. In The Will to Meaning, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote that we are ‘pushed by drives but pulled by values.’ That is a powerful statement. Breaking it down, it’s really about choice. The express choice between reactive and intentional living. Reactive living, in the best possible light, means our biological instincts push us into behaviors that are survival or ego based. They are driven less by conscious purpose than by what Frankl described as biological “pushes”. These are instinctive, survival-based responses aimed at maintaining safety, status, or comfort. In modern organizations, these pushes can manifest as defensive reactions to feedback, short-term incentive chasing, resistance to change in the name of stability, ego-driven pursuit of control, or automatic habits repeated without reflection. While these behaviors can feel necessary or justified in the moment, they are largely reactive and compulsory; responses that happen to us rather than choices we actively make. Frankl contrasted this with values-based action, which “pulls” us forward by invitation, asking us to pause in the space between stimulus and response and choose goals and behaviors aligned with what truly matters. This “pull” of values is what grants us true human freedom. We have the space to decide which values to pursue. Frankl argued that we are never forced into moral behavior; instead, we are presented with “meaning potentialities” that we can either accept or reject.
Frankl identified three primary pathways through which values pull us toward meaning. We can find purpose through creative values (the work we give to the world), experiential values (what we receive through love, nature, or art), and attitudinal values. The latter is perhaps his most powerful insight: even when every physical freedom is stripped away, we retain the freedom to choose our attitude toward unavoidable suffering. My last team will probably recall my daily admonition: control what you can, breathe through what you can’t.
By shifting our focus from what “pushes” us from behind to what “pulls” us forward, we move from being “puppets” of our circumstances to active authors of our lives. This framework allows us to transform even the most difficult experiences into opportunities for growth, reminding us that meaning is not something we wait to happen, but something we actively create through our choices.
So what to do with that? This is not a philosophy lesson but rather immediate, practical pre-work for setting your goals this year. I suggest focusing on values; values-aligned goal setting begins by interrupting these automatic pushes and replacing them with intentional direction. Instead of asking only, “What do I need to achieve?”, the deeper question becomes “Who do I want to be while achieving it?” When goals are anchored in values, behavior shifts from reaction to choice: feedback becomes information rather than threat, challenges become opportunities for growth rather than risks to comfort, and success is measured not just by outcomes, but by integrity, contribution, and coherence between belief and action. In this way, values don’t limit performance; they stabilize it, providing a durable compass that guides decision-making even under pressure.
When I was younger, I struggled here. I remember reacting to tough customers or harsh managers with resistance, anxiety, and even physical ailments. At one point, I landed in the hospital thinking I had suffered a heart attack. Good news…I was just learning this painful lesson that it was all my reaction to the pushes around me. Threat response and defensiveness. My recovery drew me to the study of Frankl, the Stoics, and even Buddhism. Learning to intentionally choose how I react and live, based on my core values, is the single greatest thing I have ever done for my health. Deliberate inhale. Long slow exhale. Repeat.
Remember. You have the freedom to choose whether to be pushed or pulled. The freedom to choose. True fulfillment comes not when we allow ourselves to be pushed by someone else’s agenda, but when we choose for ourselves and answer the call of our true values. Choosing who you want to be. That is True North.